Tag Archives: Dr. Willard Harley

Her #1 Emotional Need

In his book, His Needs Her Needs, Dr.Willard Harley tells about a woman, Jane, who found her prince charming, Richard.

At 6’3″ and 195 pounds, Jane described Richard as “ruggedly handsome.” She was intrigued by his “strong, silent-type” demeanor. While dating, Jane’s “passion level went right off the scale.”

However, a few months into their marriage the passion began to wane. Richard didn’t know how to express affection outside the bedroom. His mother died when he was 10 and was raised by his father and two older brothers. Continue reading


Filed under Marriage

When A Kiss Is More Than Just A Kiss

Yesterday, I shared with my marriage class the 10 emotional needs from Dr. Willard Harley’s book HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS.  He says five are typically male needs and the other five are female needs. He writes that meeting these needs will “affair proof your marriage.” He also affirms that when you discover your own needs and identify your mate’s needs that it will “deepen your love and desire for each other.”

So, last night I come home and find a face book notification from an old friend and former college room-mate, David Lewis. The post was from Jani Ortlund’s blog entitled “The Six Second Kiss.”  Here’s what she wrote.  Continue reading


Filed under 2012 Top Posts, Marriage


Couple Having Argument At Home

I woke up early this morning. Very early. Way too early! It was 3:00 a.m.

I couldn’t go back to sleep because in the stillness of the night there was this constant, continual sound. Drip. Drip. Drip.

It had rained sometime during the night, which I did not hear, and now all that’s  left is the ever so slight, but annoying sound of water dripping off the roof to the patio below.

It reminded me of a classic metaphor by the wise man in Proverbs 27:15. Continue reading

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Filed under Great Bible Verses, Marriage

Three Barriers to Good Communication


“Communication is to love what blood is to the body. When communication stops, love begins to die,’ wrote Dr. Paul Faulkner in his book “What Every Family Needs.”

Several years ago Redbook magazine surveyed 830 marriage counselors to determine the main problems married couples faced. Not surprisingly, communication was number one. My experience supports their conclusion. Often couples feel they have a problem with money, intimacy, or in-laws, but really it’s communication. Jay E. Adams was right when he wrote, “A sound husband and wife relationship is impossible apart from good communication. A healthy relationship between parents and children depends on such communication. Continue reading

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Filed under Communication

Love Busters

“Marriage is like a fishing net. Each day fishermen use their nets to catch fish and sell them at the market,” writes Dr. Willard Harley in his book Love Busters. Continue reading

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Filed under Marriage

The Love Bank

Yesterday was our second marriage enrichment class with the Henderson Boulevard church family. I am enjoying being with these brethren and sharing some ideas with these fine young couples. Well, and some not so young! Continue reading


Filed under Love, Marriage