When A Kiss Is More Than Just A Kiss

Yesterday, I shared with my marriage class the 10 emotional needs from Dr. Willard Harley’s book HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS.  He says five are typically male needs and the other five are female needs. He writes that meeting these needs will “affair proof your marriage.” He also affirms that when you discover your own needs and identify your mate’s needs that it will “deepen your love and desire for each other.”

So, last night I come home and find a face book notification from an old friend and former college room-mate, David Lewis. The post was from Jani Ortlund’s blog entitled “The Six Second Kiss.”  Here’s what she wrote. 

What can six seconds do for you? Woman to woman, let me encourage you that just six seconds a day can help safeguard your marriage.

How you say goodbye as you and your husband begin your day can help you build a lifelong romance.  Ray and I send each other off each morning with a six-second kiss, and after 39 years of marriage, I highly recommend it!

After years of a quick shout from somewhere near the back door, it started with “Goodbye, honey. See you tonight . . .” which left us both wanting more. It stopped when we decided that before we went out to face our day we would scout the other out, wrap each other up in a warm embrace, and begin our day with an intimate, very married, six-second kiss.

Try it. Tomorrow when you say goodbye, take your husband’s face in your hands. Look deeply into his eyes. Ask him to hold you for just six seconds. Tell him you love him. Admire him. Tell him you can’t wait until the day is done and you’ll have time together again, and then kiss him like you mean it.

Go ahead. Try it! Your young children will grow up feeling secure in the love between their parents. Your adolescents will blush, groan, and hope their friends don’t see you. Your teens will hope that someday they can build a marriage like their parents. And if there are no children around? Hmmmm, now there’s an interesting situation!  http://theresurgence.com/authors/ray-ortlund

I’m thinking that  following this advice meets two or three needs right away. And maybe another one very soon!

One of the most common mistakes in marriage that keep couples from developing greater intimacy and deeper love is simply neglect.  Neglecting to talk.  Neglecting to do things together.  Neglecting show express admiration.  Neglecting to provide domestic support.  Neglecting to show affection.

Men, know that the #1 need for almost all women is affection.  I didn’t say “sex.”  I said affection.  Understanding this is part of what Peter implores in I Peter 3:7. “ Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way.”  Understanding.  One version translates this “knowledge.”  Another renders it “considerately.”

Women crave affection.  Holding hands. Flowers.  Gifts.  A phone call at work.  Making coffee for her in the morning.  A foot or back massage with no expectations. Yes, and a kiss before leaving in the morning…even a six second one.

BTW, my friend, Dave, when he shared Jani’s blog  headed his Facebook post “Getting You Ready to Have a Great Monday!”  Hmmm, I’m thinking you’re right, bro. Dave.

(This post was the #1 post for most of the year, but finished just a few hits behind at #2)

Update:  Since this blog was written in 2012, we are sad to report the Dave Lewis has passed away.

–Ken Weliever, The Preacherman






Filed under 2012 Top Posts, Marriage

11 responses to “When A Kiss Is More Than Just A Kiss

  1. Reva

    I remember when my husband and I used to do this every morning…Sad to say we haven’t kept it up but I think renewal may be coming..lol Thanks for the gentle reminder.


  2. In our rushed lives it seems that many people we meet along the way are missing a six second kiss and looking over at my hubby now – I may give this a try in the morning as he leaves for work!


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