My normal morning is to wake up early, drink coffee and write a blog post, usually for publication that day. About the time I’m finished Norma Jean will wake up and proof the post.
This morning was different.
I did wake up early. Fixed coffee. But decided to sit on the balcony of our condo, drink my first cup and listen to the breakers in the early morning darkness. While enjoying the solitude, Norma Jean woke up early, came out and suggested we take an early morning walk on the beach.
“An hour and a half before sunrise?”
And so we did. And it was great!
There is something about the solitude of an early walk. No noise. Except the crashing of the waves. No people. No iPhones. No interruptions. Just time together. To talk. To talk our future. Our hopes. Our dreams. Our plans. It was a relaxing time to consider possibilities. Share feelings. Explore ideas. And just to enjoy being together.
One of the chief complaints I’ve heard from wives through the years is that their husbands won’t communicate. Professional counselors and various surveys confirm this is so. In fact, one study indicated that the average couple only engages in 4 minutes of meaningful communication a day. That’s 28 minutes a week. Of course, you know how these surveys are. It could be off by 4 minutes!
The Bible commands us husbands to live with our wives “in an understanding way” (1Pet 3:7). It’s hard to understand another person when you don’t talk to them. Or listen to their concerns. Or communicate your feelings.
While the great love chapter doesn’t specifically say, “love listens,” the 15 qualities of 1 Corinthians presupposes the need for kind, compassionate and focused communication that connects. Dr. Paul Faulkner was right when he wrote, “communication is to love what blood is to the body. When communication stops, love begins to die.”
You don’t have to travel 1400 miles to a beachfront location to communicate and connect. But to have a satisfying and fulfilling marriage, you must set aside time for undivided attention. Really communicate. Really listen. Be sensitive to your mate’s feelings. Be transparent. Be positive. And apply Colossians 4:6 to your marriage “Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to (your spouse).”
Hmm. I’m thinking more pre-dawn walks may be in our future this week.
–Ken Weliever, The Preacherman