“I didn’t feel anyone cared whether I was there or not.”
Sadly, I’ve heard sentiments like this from people who have left the church. And it raises an important question: Does everyone who attends our assemblies know that they matter?
Research has shown that the more relationships a person develops in a congregation, the less likely they are to leave or become inactive. People need more than a place to worship. They need a place to belong.
Bruce Larson, writing about the appeal of the neighborhood bar, offered this insightful observation:
“The neighborhood bar is possibly the best counterfeit there is to the fellowship Christ wants to give His church. It’s an imitation, dispensing liquor instead of grace, escape rather than reality—but it is a permissive, accepting, and inclusive fellowship. It is unshockable. It is democratic. You can tell people secrets, and they usually don’t tell others or even want to. The bar flourishes not because most people are alcoholics, but because God has put into the human heart the desire to know and to be known, to love and be loved, and so many seek a counterfeit at the price of a few beers.”
Whether you agree with Larson’s point or not, his observation should make us stop and think. The church ought to be one of the most loving, caring, and accepting places in the world. Yet I’ve heard too many stories and seen too many cases where Christians have felt isolated, ignored, or even ostracized in their local congregation.
It would be well for us to remember that the message of the cross is one of inclusion.
Consider these two passages from Paul’s pen:
“For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” —Gal. 3:26-28
And then Paul reminds the Corinthians of the radical transformation made possible through Christ:
“And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” —1 Cor. 6:11
The cross breaks down barriers that divide people—racial distinctions, ethnic backgrounds, social status, political preferences, financial success, vocational accomplishments, educational attainments, and family power, prestige, and prominence. None of these should determine our worth or our place in Christ.
We put these external differences aside because we share a common bond. We are all one in Christ Jesus. We have all been redeemed by the Savior, bought with the blood of His cross, saved by His grace, and called into a spiritual fellowship.
We belong together.
But biblical inclusion doesn’t mean that everything is acceptable. It means everyone is invited to come to Christ, be changed by Christ, and belong to Christ. The gospel doesn’t say, “Come as you are and stay as you are.” It says, “Come to Christ, be washed, be sanctified, be justified, and become a new person.”
And because Christ has welcomed us, we should welcome others.
Thus, we ought to “accept one another” (Rom. 14:1), “encourage one another” (1 Thess. 5:11), and “bear one another’s burdens” (Gal. 6:1-2).
Inclusion isn’t merely giving someone a seat in the building. It’s giving them a place in our lives.
So, do we notice the person sitting alone? Do we learn the name of the visitor? Do we introduce newcomers to others? Do we invite them into our homes? Do we notice when someone is missing? Do people know that their presence matters?
Those may seem like small things, but they aren’t small to the person who feels invisible.
Inclusion binds and bonds us together in a warm, loving, reciprocal spiritual fellowship. It says, “You are not alone. You are loved. You matter. You belong here.”
And to those who may feel excluded or disenfranchised in the church, let me encourage you: Don’t give up your faith because of a few who fail to be what they ought to be. Don’t give in to Satan’s tempting whispers to quit. Don’t allow those who don’t understand inclusion to sour you on the Lord’s church.
Remember, my Christian friends, God loves you. Christ died for you. The Holy Spirit dwells in you. You are included in God’s family. You belong.
And may no one who walks through the doors of our congregations ever have reason to say,
“I didn’t feel anyone cared whether I was there or not.”
—Ken Weliever, The Preacherman
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