Anger Management

It began as a friendly Xbox game of Madden NFL 2013.  It ended with a night in jail.  USA Today reported that two brothers, Michael and Abrey Mayweather of Racine, Wisconsin, were arrested for domestic abuse when the competition got physical.

According to the criminal complaint the 21-year-old, Michael, took the loss and his 19th year old brother’s name calling personal.  The dispute became physical when Michael tried to lock Abrey out of the apartment.   The two began shoving one another and it turned into a full-fledged fight.  According to the police report, the door was ripped off its hinges, the metal frame was bent and broken furniture was scattered through the apartment.

Now here’s the kicker…..

Michael was reportedly staying at his brother’s apartment at least four nights a week since it was closer to his probation officer and…..his anger management class!

There are a lot of situations in life that cause every emotion from annoyance, to exasperation, to anger.  We’ve heard about road rage, air rage, and work rage.  A failure to manage our anger can have a serious impact on relationships.

Let me suggest four principles that will help.  

     First, admit your anger.  For some reason we don’t want to accept that we get angry.  Anger is not necessarily bad.  Anger may say, “I care.”  “I stand for something.”  Or “I love you too much to watch you ruin your life.”

The Psalmist affirmed that “God is angry with the wicked every day” (Ps. 7:11).  Jesus was angry at those who profaned the temple with material merchandise (Jn 2:13-17).  Anger itself is not a sin.  There are occasions where anger is justified.  Just admit it when you’re angry.

Secondly, understand your anger.  The wise man was right when he wrote, “Those who control their anger have great understanding; those with a hasty temper will make mistakes” (Prov. 14:29).

How do you express your anger.  Some folks are like skunks and stink up the place with anger.  Others are like turtles and withdraw and suffer in silence.  And some are like pit bulls and attack others viciously.

Learn what makes you angry.   Is it a lack of acceptance?  Feeling unappreciated? Or unsupported?  Unprotected?  Uncertain?  All of these emotions can make us feel like our lives are out of control and causes feelings of resentment and anger.

     Thirdly, deal with anger immediately.  Don’t procrastinate.  Paul put it this way.  “Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another. “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil” (Eph 4:25-27).

Unresolved conflict will keep growing.  It will turn into bitterness.  Then hatred.  And finally hostility.  Love does not keep a record of wrongs.  But when it does, love subsides and anger rears its ugly head.

     Fourth.  Learn to control your anger.  Truly, “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression (Prov. 19:11, NAS).  Before reacting, I need to reflect.  “Be quick to listen.  Slow to speak.  Slow to become angry” (Jas 1:19).  Then I can respond with a measured reply.  Instead of an angry answer.

Some people blow up.  Others clam up.  Both are wrong reactions.  Instead own up.  Admit your anger.  Be brief.  Be honest.  Be humble.

Uncontrolled anger comes a high price.  Physical ailments.  Emotional stress.  Severed friendships.  Maybe even a night in jail.  It is true that “A hot tempered man starts fights and gets into all kinds of trouble” (Prov. 29:22).

Think of your life like a tube of toothpaste, When it is squeezed whatever is inside will come out.  If you’re filled with hostility, when the world puts on the squeeze you will get angry.  But if you fill your life with fruit of the spirit, when you’re squeezed out will come love, joy, and peace.

–Ken Weliever, The Preacherman

3 Comments

Filed under Anger

3 responses to “Anger Management

  1. Billie

    LOVE THAT LAST LINE – WHAT A GREAT ILLUSTRATION. I’LL KEEP THAT TOOTHPASTE IN MIND OR MAYBE IN POCKET.

  2. Excellent post. Anger is a normal feeling and it wasn’t a bad emotion until and unless the feelings of anger are out of control. Try to control your anger by positive thoughts by cutting all the negative thoughts. Sit calmly and question yourself that anger is a helpful emotion, is it doing any good for you. Watch some comic movies or read some comic movies, listen to some soothing music, prayer also helps to reduce your anger.

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