Love Is Not Rude

A nine-year-old boy asked ChatGPT, “Is yo’ mama so dumb that when she went to sleep, she put a ruler behind her pillow to see how long she slept?”

The chatbot replied, “I’m sorry, but as an AI language model I don’t have a ‘mama’ or the ability to feel insulted.”

Linda Rodriguez McRobbie, the nine-year-old’s real mom, was disturbed by her son’s rude question. A freelance journalist, McRobbie subsequently submitted an article to the Boston Globe: “Don’t be rude to chatbots — for your sake, not theirs.”

The article revealed that over 54% of all conversations with chatbots contain profanity, often directed at the bot, and more than 65% contain sexual language.

McRobbie observes that just as aggressive behavior toward a human can release a flood of negative feelings, being rude even to a chatbot has a cost to our own well-being. Those who research such matters confirm that analysis.

Obviously, Paul didn’t have rude behavior toward chatbots in mind when he penned the words, “love is not rude” in 1 Corinthians 13:5. But he was describing something much deeper than good manners. Love is an attitude that respects others and seeks to treat them with dignity, regardless of the circumstances.

The Greek word Paul uses comes from aschēmoneō, meaning “uncomely” or “indecent.” It refers to acting without regard for propriety or the dignity of others.

Albert Barnes says, “it means to conduct improperly, or disgracefully, or in a manner to deserve reproach.”

Barnes adds that love seeks what is proper or becoming in every relationship regardless of a person’s position in life, social standing, or appearance.

The KJV says love “does not behave itself unseemly.” The NKJV renders it, “does not behave rudely.” The J. B. Phillips translation says, “love has good manners.” The TEV reads, “love is not ill-mannered.”

To express the idea positively, love is courteous, respectful, and sensitive. Love cares not only about truth, but about tone. In a word, love is respectful.

Love does not disrespect others by being thoughtless, careless, or graceless. Barclay renders this passage, “love does not behave gracelessly.” Love does not “fight fire with fire.” Love is not crude, coarse, or curt in its social interactions.

The Bible admonishes, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear” (Eph. 4:29).

Love is polite. It thinks before it speaks. It cares about the feelings of others and comports itself graciously. One writer opined, “Tactfulness is the lubrication of relationships.” It reduces friction between people.

Or as the wise man expressed it, “Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in the right circumstances” (Prov. 25:11).

Good manners are exercised in the home in family interactions. Children are taught to say, “Please.” “Thank you.” “Excuse me.” “I’m sorry.” And “You’re welcome.” Most importantly, respectful interactions are role-modeled by the parents.

Courteous behavior is also demonstrated when love is respectful toward a customer service worker, even when we’re frustrated with the lack of service.

Love is civil, cordial, and conciliatory even in the presence of others who are impolite, unkind, and antagonistic. It doesn’t “fight fire with fire.” It doesn’t excuse rudeness simply because someone else was rude first.

Good manners are intertwined with numerous biblical exhortations: Be kind. Be courteous. Be gentle. Be compassionate. Be sympathetic. Be respectful. Show honor. Speak evil of no one. Avoid quarreling.

In this regard, Orville Dewey suggested, “Politeness is practical Christianity.”

I can recall as a kid, my Mom would remind me of the importance of being polite with only that look a mother can give and say, “Mind your manners.”

The application of that exhortation could well improve the atmosphere and decorum in many social, political, and religious circles today.

In the words of the prolific author, Anonymous, “Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you. Not because they are nice, but because you are.”

Oh, and that nine-year-old who was rude to ChatGPT? His mother reported that the bot further responded: “It’s important to use language that is respectful and kind toward others, even when we’re joking around.”

Good advice.

Whether we’re talking to a chatbot or a human being, love always remembers its manners.

–Ken Weliever, The Preacherman