Love is Patient

Hall of Fame football coach Tony Dungy once shared a great story about his father, Wilbur, who was a quiet, thoughtful, and patient man.

Dungy recounts the day when he was nine and his brother, Linden, was five, and their father took them fishing. Wilbur was teaching the boys how to cast. Tony said they were working on it, mostly in silence, until his father’s voice broke the silence.

“Hey, Linden, don’t move for a minute, please,” Wilbur calmly said. Tony said he looked back and watched his dad move his hand toward his face. Calm and deliberate, he continued to speak, instructing Linden on how to pay attention when casting. At that point, Tony realized his father was working his brother’s hook out of his own ear.

Tony related, “I learned something about proper casting that day, but I also learned something about patience.”

Tony saw his father’s patience lovingly demonstrated in a calm, kind, and tranquil way. Years later, he came to fully appreciate the extent of his father’s patience when he got hooked on the hand and realized how much it hurt.

Patience is not merely the ability to wait; it is the ability to wait with the right attitude toward the people and circumstances that test us.

Last week, we began a series on the nature of love from 1 Corinthians 13. Today, we begin looking at the first of 15 qualities Paul identifies as the evidence and expression of genuine love.

“Love is patient” (1 Cor. 13:4).

The NKJV renders this “love suffers long.” The Greek word literally means “long-tempered.” We speak of a person with a temper who has a “short fuse.” In contrast, a patient person has a long fuse.

Mr. Thayer says patience is “forbearance, slowness in avenging wrongs.” It involves fortitude, endurance, and restraint.

In his Daily Bible study series, William Barclay says the word “always describes patience with people, not patience with circumstances. He further adds John Chrysostom’s insight, “that it is the word used of the man who is wronged and who has it easily in his power to avenge himself and who yet will not do it.”

This word is used of God’s patience with people. With you and me. The Bible says, God is “longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (2 Pet. 3:10).

The Psalmist, David, beautifully echoed this same sentiment when he penned, “But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, Long-suffering and abundant in mercy and truth” (Ps. 86:15).

Since God is the essence of love, it’s not surprising that He’s also the epitome of patience. We can love patiently because we have first experienced God’s patience. If we are to imbibe His Divine love, we too must learn to practice patience.

The apostle Paul admonished, “comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men” (1 Thess. 5:14).

Patience must be practiced in our families as we deal with the daily stresses of life. Children acting like…well, like children. Noisy. Crying. Hungry. Messy. It takes patience.

Husbands and wives who sometimes get on each other’s nerves. Annoying habits. Tardiness. Household duties left undone. Missed payments. And selfish desires. It takes patience.

In the church, it’s easy to become impatient with others’ foibles and failures. The preacher who repeats himself once too often and goes over time. The song leader who pitches the hymn incorrectly. The one making the announcement who goes on… and on… and on… A sister or brother who brushes us off with ruffled feathers over a seemingly minor issue. It takes patience—and patience is love in action.

In the workplace, in the marketplace, on the highway, and when dealing with people in retail, mistakes are made; sometimes folks are inconsiderate or just not thinking. It takes patience to suffer long, show love, and demonstrate the attitude of Christ.

Love is willing to endure irritation, accept inconveniences, bear with others’ foibles, and even suffer offense.

Patience is love’s response to imperfect people, aggravating attitudes, and frustrating circumstances.

–Ken Weliever, The Preacherman