Yes, We’re Still Being Trained!

“Thanks Ken, this may help some of my “friends” here on FB better understand us oddball Christians.”  Well, Harold, sadly, I guess  promoting God-ordained marriage seems “oddball” to many people.

But my favorite was from Alyee.

“I thought you two would have been trained by now!”  

On August 23^rd we will celebrate our 45^th anniversary.  So, yes, you would think we would have been trained by now!  Last year on our 44^th I wrote these six things we had learned.

       (1) We have learned that neither of us is perfect.  It’s quite a shock to young lovers to learn of some shortcoming or flaw in their beloved.  We know the Bible says, “all have sinned.”  But not my Sweetie!  Well, we have!  We fall short.  Make mistakes. And sin. Some enter into marriage with unrealistic expectations.  Neither of you are perfect.  Accept it.

         (2) We have learned the need for confession and forgiveness.  When we make our mistakes we need to admit them, ask forgiveness and pray.  And the spouse must offer forgiveness.  James wrote, “Confess your sins one to another, and pray for one another” (5:16).  This is not a “church command” it’s an individual command. To make it 44 years it must be practiced. Several times!  

         (3) We have learned that there is an ebb and flow to romantic love, but God’s true spiritual love never fails.  There is such a misunderstanding of what real love is today, that it’s no wonder marriages fail.  Too often love is equated with sex.  Or a tingling emotion.  Read 1 Corinthians 13.  Love expresses itself in positive attitudes and godly actions.

Love is patient.  Kind. Constructive. Love is not jealous, boastful or proud.  Love has good manners.  Love is not easily angered, nor does it keep either a written or mental record of wrongs. Love is not selfish, irritable or resentful.  Love doesn’t gloat over sins of another, but rejoices when Truth is practiced. Love always protects. Hopes. Trusts. Endures. Love can outlast anything!

You see love is an act of the will. Of the mind. Of the heart.    A marriage won’t last 44 years if love is perverted or profaned..  We need to get back to love God’s way.

        (4) We have learned that you need a strong faith to make it through the difficulties of life.   Every family has trials of some sort. Sickness. Death. Financial setbacks. No marriage is exempt from life’s troubles.   It’s faith that provides the substance of our love and hope.  Faith offers direction.  Encouragement.  Steadiness.  Faith navigates you through the storm when you can’t see how to make it.

         (5) We have learned you need a sense of humor.  Things happen that sometimes you can only laugh it.  Yes, “a merry heart does good like a medicine.”

         (6) We have learned the meaning of commitment.  No marriage will withstand a lack of commitment.  Commitment to God.  To each other.  Commitment to our vows.  Commitment to marriage God’s way.  (Eph. 5:22-32)

Reading them again, reminded me of hearing a motivational speaker, Charles T. “Tremendous” Jones several years ago.  He did a talk about life.  In a humorous way he ridiculed the idea that he had learned anything.  He said, “I am still learning!” He said about the time he thought he had learned something, he hadn’t learned it all!  He was still learning!

This past week-end reminded us, again, that we are still learning.  Marriage is a process.  It demands constant maintenance.  Diligent effort.  Renewed commitment.  And a growing, deepening exceptional love. Yes, after 45 years!

Marriage is a special gift from God.  Thank you, Lord!

—Ken Weliever, The Preacherman