Bulletin Bloopers!

In addition to this daily I blog, I still write a bulletin for the Hickman Mills church where I preach in Kansas City.  Occasionally mistakes and misspelled words will creep in.  Ok, maybe more than occasionally!  But some of the funniest things are sometimes accidentally written in church bulletins.  These have been around for years, but are still some of my favorites.

“Remember in prayer those who are sick of this congregation.”

“Ushers will eat latecomers.”

“Thursday night — potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.”

“Irving Benson and Julie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

“When parking on the north side of the church, please remember to park on an angel.”

“Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who is preparing for the girth of their first child.”

“For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery off of the foyer.”

“During the absence of our local preacher last Sunday, brother _________, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when brother _____________ was our guest speaker.”

Under the heading of prayers when the local preacher had been out sick was seen this message: “GOD IS GOOD – Brother. Hargraves  is better. “

Under the heading of sermons for today was seen this announcement: “10:00 AM Sermon:  Jesus Walks on the Water.   6PM Sermon: Searching for Jesus”

“The Young Married class are now having bile studies each Tuesday evening at 7:30 p.m.”

“While our Preacher is on vacation, massages can be given to church secretary.”

“Brother Lamar has gone on to be the Lord”

And this was reportedly seen in the bulletin of  the Calvary Memorial Church in Racine Wisconsin when a Missionary by the name of Bertha Belch  was speaking on her mission work in South Africa.  “Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa”.

Well, this tells us that one word can make all the difference. Or even one letter can change the entire message.  Indeed, little things mean a lot.  Especially our words!

And remember:   “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad” (Prov. 12:25).

Have a great day and a wonderful week-end!

–Ken Weliever, The Preacherman

2 Comments

Filed under Humor, Uncategorized

2 responses to “Bulletin Bloopers!

  1. Ken:
    Your very first “zinger” is one of my ongoing favorites during public prayer, that the Lord bless “those sick of the congregation.” I hear that a lot and wonder who in the congregation is fed up with the rest of us?

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