Let’s Replace Boundaries with Morals

“Nowadays we’ve forgotten the word morals and replaced it with boundaries,” opined Freya India a London based freelance writer who focuses on politics, psychology, and culture.

I don’t know anything about Miss India’s religious affiliation, but she is spot on in her critique regarding many of our cultural problems today.

In an article, “We Need Moral Direction,” which is directed mainly to young ladies, India discussed the confusion, anxiety, and relationship conflicts that distress girls today. In part, she offers this analysis.

Boundaries, a popular term in therapy, basically mean the lines we draw in relationships to define what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. In a new romantic relationship, for example, you first need to set boundaries. Boundaries can “be anything, include anything, and change depending on the person/situation/time.” “All that matters is that they feel good to you”!

In other words there’s no common moral ground anymore so we are each left to make up our own arbitrary standards, present them to our partners, and hope they find some reason to respect them. We can’t base it on our morality, that’s judgmental, we can’t base it on God, we’ll get laughed at, so instead we base it on our mental health or happiness or some childhood trauma, which makes it feel like an us problem. And we’ve created this messed-up situation where the person in a relationship with a stronger moral instinct often ends up feeling guilty, or seeming the most insecure.

At the heart of this problem, which we’ve addressed in past posts in a culture that prides itself on Individualism. The mantra of individualism is “I must live for myself.” Individualism says “Be true to yourself.” And individualism believes “I can only know what is right and wrong for me.” It’s really saying that “I’m my own god.” This attitude was illustrated several years ago by a popular sitcom where a mother was advising her teen daughter about becoming sexually active. Her advice? “You will know when it is right for you.” Of course this is nothing new. In the days of the Judges “every man did what was right in his own eyes” (Jud. 21:25).

There was a time in our country when there was some general consensus regarding right and wrong. Good and evil. What’s moral and immoral. That day is no more. In fact, our enlightened elites can’t even agree that there are only two sexes, men and women.

Our aim, however, is not just to “curse the darkness” in this world, but to “light a candle.” Our young people need moral direction based on the infallible standard of God’s Word (2 Tim. 3:16-17).  This must begin in the home with mothers and fathers teaching their children what the Bible says about morality, marriage, sexual relationships, and Divine authority in their lives.

We need preachers who are not afraid to “preach the Word,” condemn sin as they reprove and rebuke the moral mess in today’s culture, but also clearly define God’s standard of holiness.

We need pastors who will shepherd the flock, watch for souls, chase the wolf away, and lead people in paths of righteousness. If the church is to be “the pillar and ground of the truth (1 Tim. 3:15), then its leaders must clearly display and solidly support Truth so that the people can see it, understand it, and apply it in their lives.

We can’t depend on schools to do the work assigned to both the home and the church. Nor can we trust the government and elected leaders to watch out for the spiritual welfare of our children and grandchildren. The various forms of mass media and social media will not provide spiritual direction or offer answers to the important issues facing our young people. In fact, it will leave them more confused, anxious, and ill informed about who they are and how they are to live. Its various platforms must be regulated and limited by loving mothers and fathers.

The principles enunciated by Moses to ancient Israel are still relevant and needed in families today.

4″Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates (Deut. 6:5-9).

To stand up, speak up and take control of the spiritual guidance and moral direction of young calls for courage and resolve. As G.K. Chesterton wrote in “What’s Wrong with the World,” “Most modern freedom is at root fear. It is not so much that we are too bold to endure rules; it is rather that we are too timid to endure responsibilities.”

–Ken Weliever, The Preacherman