Marriage Matters

“America is in crisis. Happiness is falling, loneliness and despair are rising, too many schools are riddled by fights and failure, crime is unacceptably high, and the American Dream is out of reach for millions,” writes W. Bardford Wilcox, professor of sociology at the University of Virginia

“The problems are visible to us all,” Wilcox opines, “but virtually no one is talking about the solution that matters most: marriage.”

Wilcox, who’s the director of the National Marriage Project at UV and the author and editor of six books, was recently interviewed by New York Times opinion columnist Jane Coaston about his new book. The book acclaims the benefits of marriage and the reasons why marriage rates have declined in the US.

Coaston writes, “As of 2021 around 25 percent of 40-year-old Americans are not married–the highest percentage ever recorded. While divorce rates have plummeted from their early 1980s high, fewer people are choosing to marry in the first place.”

While I haven’t read the book, reading the table of contents, the first few pages, and the reviews indicate it’s worthy of purchasing and reading.

Wilcox says that our culture is “sabotaging our most important social institution” which he argues is “the keystone institution for our nation.”

The book points out a misguided view of success and happiness in our society is based on getting a good education, advancing in your career, and making money. Professor Wilcox further reveals that Hollywood, mass media, academia, and the Washington elite have bombarded us with “anti-family messages and polices that have weakened marriage.”

According to his research, Wilcox, demonstrated that couples who get married, have children and “forge a family-first marriage” are happier, healthier, more prosperous and enjoy greater personal satisfaction and more meaningful lives.

Just a perusal of this material reminds us that God’s ancient wisdom for the home and family is not outdated.

In the beginning, Genesis one records God viewing His handiwork after each day of creation with the words, “God saw that it was good.” However, after He made man, God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Gen. 2:18). Following the Lord’s creation of Eve from Adam’s rib, he brought her to him and said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:23).

Marriage and family is not the product of Western Civilization, or a sociological experiment. Nor did a group of previous promiscuous cavemen sitting around a flickering fire one night, decide marriage might be a good idea. Marriage is a divine decree. Ordered, ordained, and arranged by the Creator Himself.

Jesus Christ, likewise, blessed the marriage relationship, quoting the Genesis passage and adding, “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matt. 19:6).

Furthermore, the apostle Paul extolled marriage as the only relationship sanctioned by God to enjoy sexual fulfillment when he wrote, “Because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2). He also commended marriage in Hebrews 13:4 writing, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

The research of professor Wilcox only verifies what we already know from the Bible. God’s way is best. And God’s way works.

There are many books, blogs, seminars and marriage retreats that will help couples enrich their marriage. But before any of these existed, you could read Proverbs, Song of Solomon, Ephesians 5-6 as well as other Bible passages that speak regarding building a successful marriage and family relationship.

Granted there are some people who are unable to get married. In fact, Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 suggests some reasons why. However, as both secular research and sacred writings reveal, the home and family is the backbone of civilization.

When men and women marry and raise their families according to God’s Divine counsel, they are not only happier in this life, but are in a better position for the life to come in eternity.

By the way, the complete title of Wilcox’s book refutes our current culture and trends. “Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization.”

–Ken Weliever, The Preacherman