Love is Kind

According to the calendar of usual and little known holidays today is “National Love is Kind Day.”

It was created by Rosie Aiello and her daughter Sunny who were “trapped in an emotionally, mentally and financially abusive relationship for nearly 25 years,” according to her web page Love is Kind Network.

Rosie escaped that abusive relationship and now is trying to help other women in similar circumstances.

For so many of us that enjoy mutually satisfying, supportive and loving relationships it is difficult to imagine these startling statistics regarding domestic abuse.

• Every 9-seconds, a woman is assaulted or beaten.
• Approximately a third of women and a quarter of men have been in abusive relationships.
• Every minute, 20 people are abused by an intimate partner. That’s 10 million people each year.
• Every year, over 200,000 phone calls are made to domestic violence hotlines.

I don’t know Rosie’s religious beliefs but isn’t it interesting that she chose a simple phrase from 1 Corinthians 13:4, “love is kind,” to identify her cause and name her web page. Rosie says, You Deserve..

“…to be treated with kindness and respect, whether it’s with your intimate relationships, family, friends or co-workers…Love is Kind, Not Terrorizing.”

Obviously, applying this simple 3 word Biblical admonition would eliminate mental, emotional, and physical abuse. Of course, the one suffering at the hands of an unloving, narcissistic abuser, needs help. Support. Resources. And counseling.

No doubt the overwhelming majority of those reading this blog are not in such a situation. But I wonder, how many marriages and relationships are failing to reach their full potential due to a lack of love? A failure to simply show kindness? You don’t have to be physically abusive to be unkind.

The third century Bible scholar Origen suggested this means that love is “sweet to all.” The Bible translator Jerome called it “the benignity of love.” William Barclay identified our challenged when he observed, “so much of Christianity is good but unkind.”

Christians ought to be known for their kindness. The fruit of the Spirit is kindness (Gal. 5:22). Among the virtues maturing disciples are to add is “brotherly kindness.” Then Paul issued this simple command, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:32).

Kind people do not…

…shout ugly epithets, and scream obscenities at those they love.
…run rough shod over other people’s feelings.
…ignore the needs their family, friends and brethren.
…make fun, belittle and ridicule their spouse or children.
…harbor resentment or bottle up bitterness toward their friends.
…hold a grudge over some supposed slight.
…think they’re better than others.
…critique with sarcasm.
…Force their opinions on others.
…become envious, jealous, greedy or selfish.

On the other hand, kind people…

…build up and encourage others.
…speak graciously.
…show compassion.
…express sympathy and empathy.
…listen thoughtfully.
…seek to understand, rather than be understood.
…patiently deal with the foibles of others.
…do good deeds.
…massage their wife’s hurting feet.
…sincerely compliment their friends.
…treat their spouse with respect, dignity, and honor.
…considerately accept the apologies of others.
…ask forgiveness when they’re wrong.
…soothe the hearts of the hurting.
…cut other people some slack.
…express gratitude.
…respond quickly to others’ needs.
…show flexibility when things don’t go their way.
…are honest, trustworthy, an dependable.
…allows others to go first.

You may not consider yourself an abuser, but are you kind? Could you be kinder?

Be kind to others. Not because of who they are, or how they can help you. But because of who you are.

Love is kind.

–Ken Weliever, The Preacherman