Kids Say The Funniest Things

Kids say the funniest things. While I can’t vouch for the accuracy of all of these, I can imagine they really could happen.

One dad told about driving with his three young children one warm summer evening when some kids in a controvertible passed them. Suddenly a young woman in the back seat stood up waved. She was stark-naked! As I was reeling from shock and before I could say a word, My 5 year old shouted, “Mom! Look! That lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!”

A little girl had just finished her first week of pre-school and told her mom, “I’m just wasting my time. I can’t write. I can’t read. And they won’t let me talk!”

As a young mother was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle, the phone rang. Her 4 year old daughter answered it and say, “Mommy, it’s the preacher.” Then quickly blurted into the phone, “Mommy can’t come to the phone to call right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”

Some of the funniest are things kids say in Bible class or about church. One 10 yr boy, who was a guest at Vacation Bible School was asked by his mother what he learned at VBS gave this report. “Our teacher told us about when God sent Moses behind the enemy lines to rescue the Israelites from the Egyptians. When they came to the Red Sea, Moses called for engineers to build a pontoon bridge. After they had all crossed, the looked back and saw the Egyptians tanks coming. Quick as a flash, Moses radioed headquarters on his walkie talkie to send bombers to blow up the bridge and save the Israelites.” “Bobby,” his surprised Mother exclaimed, “is that really the way your teacher told the story?’ “Well, not exactly,” he confessed. “But if I told it her way, you’d never believe it.”

Then there was a Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what she drawing. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

A bible class teacher asked her students, “Do you believe the story about Lot’s wife? How she looked back and turned into a pillar of salt?” One little boy said, “Sure I do. Just yesterday my mother looked back and turned into a telephone pole.”

And then you’ve gotta love a 6 year old explaining basic Christian theology to his younger sister, “You see, it was Jesus’ job to die for our sins; it’s our job to sin!” Well, I hope you’ve enjoy this Saturday’s bonus blog of humor. Just remember Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. (Mark 10:14)

–Ken Weliever, The Preacherman