How To Overcome Pain in Relationships

Here’s more proof that guys just don’t get it! 

Anna Mackowiak and Marek Olszewski are a Polish couple that endured a nasty break up as reported by Eric Pfeiffer on Yahoo News.  A few days later, Marek had a severe toothache and went to see his ex who is a Dentist.  However, things took a bad turn.  Very quickly!

Anna gave him a “heavy dose” of anesthetic, locked the treatment room door, and extracted all of his teeth!  She told the Austrian Times, “I tried to be professional and detach myself from my emotions. But when I saw him lying there I just thought, ‘What a (jerk) and decided to take all his teeth out.”

“I knew something was wrong because when I woke up I couldn’t feel any teeth and my jaw was strapped up with bandages,” Olszewski said.

Adding insult to injury, Polszewski said his new girlfriend has already left him over his now toothless appearance.

Relationships.  They can be painful.  Complicated. Stressful. Women are more relationship oriented than men.  And as much as guys try, I think it’s hard to understand how deeply women can feel in a relationship. How much they are committed. How much they may be hurt.  Ask Marek!

The apostle Peter commanded that husbands “dwell with your wives understandingly” (1 Pet 3:7).  Here are a five simple suggestions to overcome pain in your relationships.  Or at least minimize it.

1. Take the focus off yourself.  Listen to her.  Take time to talk.  One of her top five needs is conversation.  Paul’s admonition can work wonders in your home life. “Let each of  you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.  Look for ways to serve.  To meet her needs.

2.  Care.  Really care.  There is an old saying, “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”  Your wife feels this way.  I promise you.  Too often when my wife, Norma Jean, shares a problem with me, I want to fix it.  And she just wants me to care.  To empathize.  To feel with her and for her.  When the Good Samaritan found the beaten and hurting man along the road, Luke says, “he cared for him.”  People who are hurting emotionally need us to care.  Especially our mates.

3. Be kind.  Angry words hurt.  Thoughtless actions inflict pain.  Hateful looks wound.  The Bible says, “love is kind…and is not rude” (1 Cor 13:4-5).  Be considerate. Be courteous. Be gracious.

4. Learn to compromise during conflict.  This is hard.  We want our way.  After all, we’re right!  But love “doesn’t demand its own way” (1 Cor 13:5).  By the way, all marriages have conflict.  No matter how much you love each other, there will be differences.  Conflict is a given.  A conciliatory spirit and willing to compromise is a choice.

5. Make Christ the center of your relationship.  Commitment to Christ provides staying power.  When human love wears thin, Divine love wins out! “In the Lord” is the way we should live. Love. Listen. Lead. And learn.

These will work in your marriage.  In your date life.  In your church family. Or in interaction with your friends, neighbors or relatives.

Two closing thoughts.  I’m still a work in progress after 43 years!.  Still learning. Trying to improve.  Attempting to do better.  Ask Norma Jean!

And, if you do break up.  And your ex is a Dentist?  Don’t go there!

–Ken Weliever, The Preacherman