Love That Chooses to Give

Several years ago, I heard a story about a psychology professor who believed that parents should not punish or spank their children. His motto: ”Just love your children.”

Although he had no children of his own, whenever he saw a neighbor scolding a child for some wrongdoing, he would say, “You should love your boy, not punish him.”

One hot summer afternoon, the professor was pouring concrete for a driveway leading to his garage. Worn out after several hours of work, he laid down the trowel, wiped the perspiration from his forehead, and started toward the house.

Just then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a mischievous little boy putting his foot into the fresh cement. He rushed over, grabbed him, and was about to spank him.

At that moment, a neighbor from across the street hollered, “Watch it, Professor! Don’t you remember? You must “love the child!”

“I do love him in the abstract,” yelled back the professor. “But not in the concrete!”

Our preaching and writing theme this year is Love More. Give more. It is not an abstract, theoretical, or philosophical slogan, but one that is concrete, practical, and objective. It can be defined, identified, and measured. The love of the Bible is active, personal, and doable.

It’s often noted by preachers and religious writers that there are four words for love in the Greek language: Agápē, Philía, Storgē, and Érōs.

Érōs is a romantic or sexual love and is never used in the Bible.

Storgē speaks to the love and affection within a family. It is used in Romans 12:10.

Philía is a relational love of warm affection, companionship, and friendship. It is used in John 11:3, speaking of Jesus’ love for his friend Lazarus,

Agápē is the most well-known word for love and is used most often in the Bible. It is a selfless, sacrificial act that seeks the good of others.

R. C. Trench writes that Agápē “is a word born within the bosom of revealed religion.” William Barclay comments that it is “an attitude born within the Christian fellowship, and impossible without the Christian dynamic.” It is the perfect, Divine love that God has for all people, including sinners. The love that Jesus died for our sins (John 3:16).

Barclay further offers this insight.

“Therefore, the meaning of Agápē is unconquerable benevolence, undefeatable goodwill. Agápē is the spirit in the heart that will never seek anything but the highest good of its fellow men. It does not matter how its fellow men treat it; it does not matter who its fellow men are; it does not matter what their attitude is to it; it will never seek anything but their highest and their best good.”

Agápē will be the primary focus of our theme to love more and give more. Although we will at times apply both friendship and family love in our applications.

Loving more is not driven by physical attraction, material achievements, or the merit of personal accolades. Agápē love is founded in our commitment to the Lord, in our character, and in our courage to love love even when it’s hard. One writer expressed the attitude of action of Agápē love as staying when it would be easier to leave, forgiving when the world may think we’re justified in withholding grace, and giving even if we’re never repaid.

Agápē love is caring, sharing, and daring to be different from the world. It defines the atmosphere of our Christian walk. It is the motive of our choices. It is the impetus of our actions. It is the basis of Christian unity. And it is the guiding principle that undergirds all other scriptural commandments.

May we rise to the challenge of the great apostle of love who exhorted: “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18).

–Ken Weliever, The Preacherman