Today’s Facebook Friday comes from the page of Dr Brad Harrub, who lives in Franklin, Tennessee.
I don’t know Brad, but learned through his online webpage that he serves as the Director of Focus Press and editor of Think Magazine. “He is a professional apologist and travels all over the world speaking on a variety of topics.”
His post on complaining addresses an issue that is widespread and deserves our serious personal examination.
When Complaining Becomes Our Default Language
by Brad Harrub, Ph.D.
I was at the coffee shop yesterday when two of my employees shared with me that there was a problem customer in the drive-thru. The lady was complaining that we “didn’t have enough flavors.” And she was really upset about it.
I listened politely, but inside I had to chuckle. On our menu are nearly forty different flavor options—far more than most people could name without looking. And we can make combinations of those which means we have hundreds of options. And yet, somehow, it still wasn’t enough.
That moment stuck with me, not because it was offensive, but because it was familiar. It perfectly captures the spirit of our age.
We complain. Constantly. And sadly, Christians are not immune. (In fact, some Sunday waitresses would argue we complain the most.)
We live in a culture that has trained us to believe that the world should cater to our preferences, our feelings, and our expectations. When it doesn’t, our natural instinct is to take it personally. To be offended. To speak up—not in gratitude, but in grievance.
Scripture paints a very different picture of how God’s people are to think and behave.
“Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation” (Philippians 2:14–15).
Notice that Paul does not say, “Do most things without complaining,” or “Avoid complaining when it’s inconvenient.” He says all things. Complaining is not presented as a personality trait—it is a spiritual problem.
At the heart of constant complaint is an inflated view of self. We think we deserve more. Better. Faster. Tailored. We don’t get too worked up if it happens to someone else, but if it happens to us then we expect to see the manager.
The Bible calls that mindset dangerous.
“God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6).
Humility says, “I am grateful.” Narcissism says, “I am owed.” Somewhere along the way, we replaced humility with self-importance—and baptized it as “being honest” or “speaking my truth.” We don’t even think about being “content” like Paul—we want things our way, and we want it now!
Even in our congregations, this spirit has taken root.
We complain about sermons that don’t fit our preferences or are too long. About songs that aren’t our style. About leadership decisions we don’t fully understand. About “programs” that don’t cater to our stage of life. And often, we frame it as concern—when in reality, it is entitlement.
Paul warned the Philippians to “let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself” (Philippians 2:3).
That command leaves little room for offense-collecting and preference-policing.
Jesus Himself—the only One truly deserving of perfect treatment—was “reviled, and did not revile in return” (1 Peter 2:23). If anyone had the right to complain, it was Him. Instead, He humbled Himself.
When Christians become known more for what irritates them than for what they endure with grace, something has gone wrong. When our first response is offense rather than patience, critique rather than gratitude, self-assertion rather than humility, we are reflecting the world—not Christ.
The Israelites had barely left the shackles of slavery in Egypt when they started complaining. They wanted water. They wanted something to eat. They wanted something to eat besides manna.
Forty flavors, and still not enough.
Perhaps the real question we should be asking is not, “Why doesn’t this meet my expectations?” but, “Why am I so quick to believe everything should? Why do i think so highly of myself?”
Christians are called to be different—not louder, not touchier, not more demanding—but humbler.
“Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand” (Philippians 4:5).
Maybe it’s time we put down our complaints and pick up gratitude again.
ThePreachersWord 