From Blame to Blessing

I awoke this morning to the news that the U.S. Government is still in shutdown mode. Today is day 35, tying the most extended shutdown in our history.

So, who’s to blame for the shutdown? For government workers being furloughed? For air traffic controllers working without pay? For low-income single moms who potentially do not receive their SNAP benefits?

Well, it depends on who you ask.

Republicans are blaming Democrats. And Democrats are blaming Republicans. Independents are blaming both parties. President Trump is blaming the Democrats in the Senate. And a segment of all political and non-political affiliations is blaming the President.

The rhetoric from all sides would have been funny if it weren’t so sad. And for more and more people, the impact of the shutdown is so hurtful.

Blame, however, is not the exclusive problem of politicians. It cuts across all segments of society and in every relationship. I read a quote from an unknown author who said, “One of the most destructive habits in human relationships—and one of the oldest—is the habit of blame.”

Blame began at the very beginning in Eden’s Garden when Adam and Eve disobeyed God’s command regarding the forbidden fruit. When questioned by the Creator, Adam blamed Eve. And Eve blamed the serpent. (Gen. 3:1-13). The first sin was not accompanied by repentance, but defensiveness and blame.

Later in history, the downfall of Saul, Israel’s first King, was steeped in blame. After disobeying God’s command and being confronted by the prophet Samuel, Saul blamed the people and offered excuses (1 Sam 15:15). Saul’s failure to accept responsibility and admit his wrongdoing cost him the Kingdom.

Blame is an easy escape hatch, shifting personal responsibility and evading the admission of fault. It’s easy for husbands to blame their wives and for wives to blame their husbands for problems in their marriage. Adult children often blame their parents’ mistakes for their unhealthy habits and poor decisions. Employers blame their employees for the lack of production, and employees blame employers for it.

When we blame others, it’s a facade seeking self-justification, evading personal responsibility, and ultimately closing the door to making necessary changes in our lives. It says, “The problem isn’t me” and points an accusing finger at someone else. Corrie ten Boom was spot on when she observed, “When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”

The Bible challenges us to a new and improved way of living. It begins with these steps.

#1 Accepting personal responsibility for our sins.

The prophet Ezekiel wrote, “The soul that sins shall die.” There is no escape clause allowing us to blame others.

In the case of Adam and Eve, God didn’t accept their excuses. Instead, each was punished. Neither did Samuel allow Saul to shift responsibility for his actions to the people; he was held accountable. When David sinned with Bathsheba, the prophet Nathan, sent by God, said, “You are the man!” And, no, not in a good sense. But the man who sinned, disobeyed God, disgraced his family, and degraded his kingly position.

In 2 Corinthians 5:10, the passage speaks to personal accountability for our attitudes and actions. “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.”

#2 Admit it when you’re wrong.

The wise man in Proverbs 28:13 declared, “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.”

Admitting our sins requires the ability to examine our own lives, our hearts, and our attitudes. Such action demands courage, humility, and honesty. Admission and confession, while difficult, bring spiritual healing for your soul. It also provides a basis for repairing ruptured relationships.

#3 Accountability and confession allow us to receive God’s grace.

When we judge others, deflect responsibility, and refuse to admit wrongdoing, we are shutting the door to one of God’s greatest blessings–grace. Blame blinds us to God’s grace, but owning our failures allows us to receive His forgiveness and begin the process of renewal and restoration.

Oswald Chambers was right when he wrote, “The surest sign that God’s grace is at work in our hearts is that we stop blaming others and begin to take responsibility for ourselves.”

The government shutdown may drag on for many more days, with the blame game continuing. But you can stop blaming others today. Now. As our 16th President, Abraham Lincoln put it, “You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”

–Ken Weliever, The Preacherman