Matthew 19:3-6: Marriage in the Beginning

This month, Norma Jean and I will celebrate our 57th wedding anniversary.

We married at a time when divorce rates were increasing, due to a change of laws that introduced no-fault divorce and a shift in moral values. The divorce rate peaked at about 50%. In recent years, the number has decreased slightly and is now approximately 42%.

Through the years, we have experienced both the joys and sorrows of life. Death in our families. Tragedy. Disagreements about money, child rearing, and other vital issues. We had financial setbacks. And experienced times when we ran out of money before the month was over. But divorce was never an option. Never mentioned. Never crossed our minds.

Why?

The vows we took on August 23, 1968, we meant. For better or for worse…for richer or for poorer…in sickness or in health… till death do you part. We took these vows, not only to each other, but to the Lord. We were committed to the relationship of marriage as God ordained, ordered, and arranged.

In our text today, the Pharisees are trying to trap Jesus with a divorce question. Jesus doesn’t take the bait. He refuses to base His answer on tradition, Jewish custom, or Roman law. Or even what Moses allowed. He went back beyond Deuteronomy and returned to Genesis, the very beginning.

After each day of creation, God said, “It is good.” But on the 6th day, something was “not good,” which was that the man was alone. The answer for companionship and intimacy was not found in the animal kingdom. So, God made woman, equal to him, with whom he could find fulfillment.

God ordained that they enjoy a “one flesh” relationship in marriage and “be fruitful and multiply.” The sexual union was placed in the confines of marriage, which Paul wrote was one way in which we could avoid sexual sins (1 Cor 7:1-5). The New Testament clearly teaches that fornication and adultery are sins that will keep people out of heaven.

Too often, however, we focus on this text to discuss unfaithfulness, infidelity, and a scriptural reason for divorce. I recall an older preacher years ago suggesting we need to spend more time talking and teaching about how to remain morally pure and respect our marriage vows, instead of debating the nuances of spiritual divorce and remarriage.

This text reminds and reinforces several essential truths about marriage.

#1 Marriage is God’s idea.

It’s not the product of Western civilization, nor the result of social conventions or cultural customs. God ordered and ordained in the very beginning. Jesus said so.

#2 Marriage is more than a contract.

Our world views marriage as a legal contract that two people might enter into. It goes beyond a social contrast or a romantic partnership. Marriage is actually a covenant. A three-way covenant. It’s between a man, a woman, and God (Malachi 2:14). In marriage, there is a spiritual accountability.

#3 The marriage covenant is to be for life.

Some want to introduce marriage contracts today that expire. That’s not God’s plan. Covenants are designed to be enduring and not easily broken. While permitted in this text, Divorce is not God’s ideal for mankind. Marriage is a permanent union. The Bible knows nothing of a trial marriage.

#4 Marriage is between one man and one woman.

God did not ordain marriages consisting of one man and two women, throuples, as they are called today. Nor did He create a marital union between two men or two women. God’s arrangement excluded group marriages and homosexual marriages.

#5 Marriage illustrates the intimate relationship between Christ and His Church (Eph. 5:22-32).

The sanctity, purity, and holiness of marriage, when practiced in its ideal, are an excellent representation of our relationship with the Savior.

The laws of the land may change, but God’s divinely appointed marriage law is clear and does not change. As Christians, let us honor the sacredness of the marriage bond. And in doing so, honor Him who ordained this blessed union.

–Ken Weliever, The Preacherman