The Price of an Affair

Last Friday we posted, “When Sin Tracks You Down,” based on the news regarding Astronomer’s CEO and his HR Director. As a follow up on Tuesday we discussed The Guilt and Shame of Sin.

Today’s post is from my facebook friend Phillip Martin. He speaks frankly. Honestly. And passionately. Read. Reflect. And realize.

The Price of an Affair

Proverbs 6:32 says whoever commits adultery ‘destroys his own soul.’ The Hebrew word here is striking. Mashchît means to bring ruin upon yourself, to act as your own destroyer. This is not about making a mistake. This is about choosing devastation.

I know a man who threw away twenty years of marriage for six months of excitement. When the dust settled, he had lost his wife, his children barely spoke to him, and his reputation in the community was shattered. But here’s what haunted him most: he could not escape what he had become. A betrayer. A promise-breaker. His own worst enemy.

This is not just a man’s story. I’ve seen wives make the same devastating choice, leaving behind confused children and heartbroken husbands. The destruction plays no favorites. When either spouse chooses unfaithfulness, they light a fuse that burns through everything they’ve built.

Let me be clear about what an affair costs. It costs your children their security. They stop believing in forever because the two people who were supposed to show them what forever looks like just proved it was a lie. It costs your spouse their ability to trust, not just you, but anyone. You hand them a wound that bleeds into every future relationship.

It costs money, too. Lawyers. Separate homes. Therapy for the kids. Child support. Alimony. The financial devastation can last decades. One moment of passion can mean a lifetime of payments.

But the deepest cost is to your own soul. You become someone you never wanted to be. You join the ranks of those who break sacred promises. You discover you’re capable of looking someone you love in the eye and lying to them. That knowledge doesn’t leave. It follows you into every relationship, every promise, every attempt to rebuild.

Marriage is a covenant between equals. Both husband and wife stand before God and make the same vows. Both promise faithfulness. Both bear the same responsibility to guard their marriage. When either one breaks that covenant, they sin against their spouse, against God, and against their own soul. There are no exceptions based on gender. Unfaithfulness destroys the unfaithful, whether man or woman.

Some will say, “But people make mistakes. There’s forgiveness.” Yes, there is. David found forgiveness after his adultery. But he also buried a son. His family was torn by violence. His sin was made public for all generations to read about. Forgiveness doesn’t erase consequences. Grace doesn’t undo destruction.

If you’re standing at the edge of temptation, stop. Think about what you’re about to pay. Think about your spouse waking up alone, wondering where you are. Think about your children asking why Mommy or Daddy doesn’t live here anymore. Think about becoming the villain in your own life story.
Marriage is hard work. Some days you won’t feel the butterflies. Some seasons will test everything you thought you knew about love. But faithfulness through those seasons builds something affairs can never offer: deep trust, earned respect, and the quiet satisfaction of being someone whose word means something.

Every day you choose faithfulness, you choose to build rather than destroy. You choose to be a person of integrity rather than deception. You prove that promises still matter, that covenants can be kept, that love is more than just a feeling that comes and goes.

The unfaithful spouse trades everything for nothing. They exchange a lifetime partner for a temporary thrill. They swap their children’s respect for their children’s disappointment. They give up being trusted for being suspected. They choose destruction over construction, death over life.
Here’s the bottom line: affairs cost everything that matters and deliver nothing that lasts. They promise excitement but deliver emptiness. They offer escape but create prisons. They whisper of life but bring death to everything they touch.

Both husbands and wives face this choice. Both can be tempted. Both can fall. But both can also choose a better path. Choose faithfulness. Choose your family. Choose to be someone whose promises can be trusted. The price of an affair is one no one can afford to pay.

Your marriage is worth protecting. Your integrity is worth preserving. Your children deserve parents who keep their promises. Don’t become your own destroyer. The cost is too high, and the bill always comes due.