That’s A Good One!

My facebook page is connected to a number of groups which are mostly related to spiritual growth and Bible teaching. But one group is simply called “Christians who enjoy good clean jokes.”

Taking a break from all the serious issues in the world and church, I decided on this facebook Friday to share a bit a of humor from that page. Several of these have a spiritual application. But I will forgo the lessons learned and let you use in it your own teaching. Or just enjoy it, and delight in a good laugh.

Seen on a church Sign

“Too hot to keep
changing sign.
Sin bad. Jesus good.
Details inside.
———————–

Their fourth grader, Jason, celebrated his birthday on crutches. So he couldn’t carry his cupcakes to school without help. So their Mom, asked his sixth grade brother, Noah, if he could help Jason carry them.

“I could,” Noah replied, “but I would prefer not to.”

Seizing a teaching moment their Dad spoke up and said, “Noah what would Jesus do?

As quick as a flash Noah shot back, “Jesus would heal him so he could carry his own cupcakes.”

———————–

“I promise not to sleep in church, especially during the sermon. I will read the Bible and say my prayers. I will promise not to sing off key. And to arrive on time. I promise not to complain when the collection basket is passed around. I will never chew gum again in church. And I will not sneak out early. Because….I am the preacher.

———————–

“All of my passwords are protected by amnesia.”

———————–

“Don’t believe everything you read on the internet. The Great Wall of China is actually made of stone.”

———————–

“Some of you need to go bowling, so you can learn to stay in your own lane.”

———————–

Hyphenated.
Non-hyphenated.
The irony.

———————–

“Somebody asked me what to do with leftover bacon….I’d never heard of such a thing.”

———————–

“Well, I just found out my baked potato was allergic to sour cream.
It broke out in chives.”

———————–

Man calling hospital–”My wife is going into labor. What should I do?

Nurse: “Is this her first child?”

Man: “No, this is her husband.”

———————–

“Why is there music coming from your printer?”
“Paper must be jamming again.”

———————–

Sign seen in a city bus.

SAFETY NOTICE
Please Do Not
Board the bus
Once the
Driver Has
Closed The
Bus Doors.

A man wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept saying that they could not afford one, but he bought one anyway.

“I’ll tell you what,” he told her. “In the spirit of compromise, why don’t you name the boat?” Being a good sport, she accepted.

When the man went to the dock for the maiden voyage, this is the name he saw painted on the side: “For Sale.”

———————–

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work.
I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work.
She hung up on me.

———————–

There’s literally nothing
better than full on laughing
with someone, and you both
keep adding things that
make it funnier, and you
can barely breathe.

———————–

Make your oatmeal raisin cookies
better by using the receipt for
chocolate chip cookies.

———————–

Benefits of a good vocabulary

I recently called an old Engineering buddy of mine and asked what he was working on these days.

He replied that he was working on “Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum, and steel under a constrained environment.

I was impressed until, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife’s supervision.

———————–

Well, hopefully you got a good laugh or two from today’s post. Or maybe a couple of groans.

If not, maybe you should consider the wise man’s advice:
“A cheerful heart is good medicine” (Prov. 17:22).

–Ken Weliever, The Preacherman